Friday, June 09, 2006

I'm going to tell you a secret...

My self-worth is directly tied to my e-mail inbox.

This is sad, I know, but true. When I check my e-mail and see that I have new mail, even if it's "hOt v-iAgra 4u", I feel loved. I feel as though there are people out there who care about me and my erectile dysfunction. When, like today, I check not once, but twice, and there's nothing from no one, not even my on-line pharmacist friend, I sink into maybe not the "depths of despair", but perhaps the "depths of I-could-eat-a-bowl-of-ice-cream".

I know, I know, I need therapy...blah, blah, blah.

I'm going to tell you another secret...

I can handle other people's problems, but not my own.

Take, for instance, a few years back when my nephew had a seizure, and my sister's freaking out, running around the dining room table shrieking "I didn't give him his Motrin! I didn't give him his Motrin!" I, cool as a cucumber, dial 911 and take care of the situation (his fever had just spiked, and kids often have mild seizures when this happens. Who knew?). I take a cold, wet cloth and sponge him down until his fever recedes (my sister--this is sooo much funnier now--is still running around the table where I now have the boy and taking whole handfuls of water and splashing it on him. I love you, Heather.)

Yesterday, though, my dog has some health issues and I burst into my roommate's room at 7:30 a.m. bawling. Yes, bawling. Me, Sarah J. I-can't-cry-on-stage-because-I-can't-cry-in-real-life Storer. The girl who thought "The Notebook" was a comedy. The woman who couldn't stop laughing when her boss snapped one day and threatened to fire the entire staff. Then I'm freaking out because I'm torn about whether I should take him to the vet or go to work. So then I'm sobbing on the phone to Jen and she hears me freaking out and just tells me not to worry about it. Jai gets me calmed down and goes with me to the vet, where I'm nearly in tears as they give the Pip a shot (he was yelping, for crying out loud).

Turns out he's okay...just so happens that running full force into sliding glass doors doesn't always agree with small animals (don't say, "Wanna go outside?!?!" until after you open the door.) And HE'S the one that gets to take muscle relaxers. For a whole week. Meanwhile, this entire drama seems to trigger latent insecurities in me, and I'm nervous and jumpy the rest of the day, despite the manual labor I put in at work that leaves me exhausted. I couldn't sleep last night, and I woke up (at freaking SIX...in the MORNING) with an athsma attack and a headache today. Siggghhh...this has been a long week.

Good thing I have a pool. And a pack of Djarum Supers (much better than Black's, by the way). And Newcastle. And my dog's muscle relaxers.

Not that I've partaken of ALL of those vices today...

6 comments:

shakkahop said...

alcohol, cloves, and canine muscle relaxers...... i believe this is a similar combo that resulted in the song puff the magic dragon.

Eric said...

Funny you mention that, because few people know that at one point in Sarah's past, she was a member of the group Peter, Paul, and Mary. She was Peter. Boy, how things have changed since then...

Tammy said...

I can relate to being calm when it someone eles kid,, but when it is your own, you can freak; loose control; and have no sense as what to do. (Dogs and cats are consider kids in my book.)

heather anderson said...

thank you to Tammy, whoever you are. :) (this is "the sister" in the seizure story, by the way) -- and Sarah, I hope the Pip is okay...

Commodore said...

Sarah ... please forard this to the Pip ...

Hey Pip,
This is Baskin ... the Commodore's (holy) terrier. I know how it is man. You're young ... you'll get used to it. Okay, so I am a little smaller than you. I love to jump off of the Commodore's 12' tall bed. One day I stove in both of my front legs and couldn't walk. You'd of thought he lost an entire bag of milkbones the way he was carrying on ... sobbing!

A few shots and a couple of muscle relaxers later, I was zippin around like normal. What is it with these humans. They bathe everyday, they eat with their mouths closed, they can't lick themselves ... no wonder they're miserable!

Anyway, hang in there, pal, and I hope you're feeling better soon.

Smell you later!
Baskin

Tammy said...

heather, you are quite welcome. Us mom's hafta stick together,,, even though some of us have dogs for kids. (I have two human kids and two doggie kids. )