Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Fill in the Blank: Sarah is______ (psst..."awesome")

Apparently, I haven't been blogging enough. Well, people, do you remember how many times I've touted my own virtues? Have I not made it clear yet how very, very busy and important I am? How incredibly awesome I remain? Do you think that I just have hours and hours in my day to entertain you? I mean, I have things to do, namely, being awesome and not a little amazing. I also have laundry. And a dog. Seriously, the world can't really handle all my awesomeness, let alone myself. I have to schedule and prioritize. I don't have all hours in the day to not only remind my co-workers and friends how great I am, let alone you people who have nothing better to do than to read my drivel. I am...

...bored with myself. I'll stop now.

So today Lisa and I decided to brave the still unshoveled sidewalks and head over to Cafe Brioso for lunch (it was delicious...thanks for asking). On our way back we were (naturally) hit on by a stranger, who thought it was appropriate to start a conversation with us on the corner of High and Long, regardless of the fact that we were trying very hard to pretend to ignore him. After the light changed, we continued on our way, leaving him with our two extremely fake laughs and "please don't ever speak to us again" smiles.

We walked the next block talking ethics (yes, for real) and came up to High and Spring, and noticed that our little lighted "WALK" had been replaced with a flashing red "DON'T WALK", which we all know means, "CONTINUE WALKING, BUT A LITTLE FASTER NOW, WITH A RANDOM SKIP HERE AND THERE LIKE YOU HAVE TOURETTES". We were right at the opposite side when we heard traffic start up, and then the sound of feet pounding the pavement. I turned just in time to see our "friend" running pell-mell to beat the rush, and then, instead of braving the pile of hardened slush and grit like the rest of us normal people do, he decided it'd be a great idea to jump the arctic heap. He landed on the other side smack into the middle of a puddle...which I was standing next to.

You know, I was kind of considering dating his forty-year-old ass, but he ruined it then. He also ruined my pants, which I enjoyed almost as much as the time I had explosive diarrhea and profuse vomiting SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Okay. Off to do more of the awesome.
Will Work for Food. Or Shoes.

Somebody give me a job. Preferably something where I don't actually have to work very hard and I get to look pretty. Actually, if someone could arrange it so that I can keep up the public speaking and generally continue being the center of attention, I'd really appreciate it.

Let me tell you how much I HATE looking for a job. It's not that I don't like interviewing (I actually love it...it's a good way for me to utilize my buckets full of charm and charisma that I was so blessed with at birth. Oh yeah, and I'm soooo likeable.) But I HATE tailoring my resume for every job, I hate tweaking my cover letters, I hate searching for names of people and researching companies...because dammit, I like to do things RIGHT, and doing things RIGHT requires extra time and effort, whether that's in job hunting or cleaning or being awesome. Mostly in being awesome.

So yeah, I'm doing a bit of networking here to my tens of fans...gimme a job. I don't have any particular skills, really, except that--in all humility--I'm really, really good at speaking in front of people. I also make a mean pot of coffee. I enjoy wearing mildly slutty office attire as well.