Sunday, July 16, 2006

I am losing my freaking mind.

The tears have been flowing more freely than ever these days, and I'm not real sure what to do with that. I cried Thursday because someone put their arm around me and said, "How are you?". I also cried Thursday because someone patted me on the back and told me I was a good person. I cried again Thursday in the car on the way home from rehearsal. I cried Friday on the phone with a friend. I skipped Saturday, just for kicks. I cried today over something I never would have cried over before, but for some reason, today it was a tragedy. And no, I won't reveal what I cried over, because it's embarrassing and makes me look weak.

And Lord knows, I hate for people to think I'm weak.

Just for the record, I am not PMS-ing. This is something entirely different...a lifetime of salty water build-up. A hole in the dam. Complete mental meltdown, I suppose. Nah, not really, just a lot of stuff happening all at once, and for a girl who's usually really good at compartmentalizing her emotions, the past week or so has been like the overzealous temp getting a hold of your desk space while you were on vacation and doing a little "organizing".

But it makes me feel a little better that you're probably depressed now after reading this. Hooray for Schadenfreude. :)

My problems probably aren't even that bad, but I'm usually so proficient at either a)denial, b)blame or c)feigned ignorance, that I can cope. It's just that when everything (EVERYTHING...with the possible exception that I had a tasty salad today, and a particularly satisfying greasy sandwhich last night) is bad all at once, and you don't do heavy narcotics, things can seem overwhelming. I swear if one more thing happens (knock on wood) I'm going to crawl into bed, set the alarm for half-past never, and go to sleep.

So, how are you? :)

Yeah, yeah. I'll post something funny tomorrow.

7 comments:

tb said...

Sorry you're feeling so shitty. Just so there's no mistake - you could do that part in a wheelchair and be fantastic! Besides, it would be unfair for you to be able to dance, as well. A body can only contain so much talent.

I never found you dull for an instant. Mysterious, maybe. Anyway...thanks for checking out my blog and if you need a good laugh, check out marriedtothesea.com.

Hugs,
T

John said...

I don't know really what to say but *hug*

Commodore said...

Hey Trixie!

I sort of fell off the planet for a few weeks, but I'm back on Earth now ... fat as ever.

Sorry to hear your blue. You should have been at the "BOTL" awards last night. You got an "outstanding in acting" as well as an "outstanding in set construction". I was only recognized for set construction.

Dale was the man of the evening taking a "Gracie" and the people's choice for the Foreigner. (James the sexton won the people's choice for much ado ... no lie!)

Jai was also recognized for acting in Much Ado.

Well, we need to get back on our Friday lunches if you're up for it.

I love you and miss you ...

Commodore said...

P.S. (okay. I said "your" instead of "you're" blue)

But your new photo is H. O. T.!!!

John said...

I agree with the commodore...very very hot picture.

Nice seeing you again...oh and the good friend that I am that was my buddy Jeremy with me at opening night.

Tammy said...

hi!
Sometimes we need to cry, even if its over nothing. Its a release, a cleansing of the soul. Letting out all of the frusrtations that life throws at you. Better than going postal in the supermarket let me tell you. Not pretty, lettuce gets Bruised and tomatoes squashed.

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