Two more for your enjoyment:

"I love working out on the ecliptical machine."

"I can barely read your handwriting. It's not eligible."

So, most of you that know me well know that I'm a confident person, especially (ooo, there's another one: expecially...) when it comes to my own skills and strengths. :) (Ask my sister about the time I was four and came down the stairs in a horribly mis-matched outfit and told the whole family to leave me alone because, "I looked sharp.") I realize that this is a strength as well as a weakness. I realize that oftentimes it's an act on my part. I also realize that it's usually blind confidence, misplaced confidence or even ridiculously naive over-confidence. Today I fell prey to the latter, and I feel like I should maybe puke a little bit.

Okay...overstatement, but bear with me.

The other day, out of the blue, I get an e-mail--from a company I submitted my resume to months ago--asking me for a phone interview. I want to be employed by said company... badly. I think the place is fascinating, and I think I would be able to utilize my skills and strengths there in a number of different ways. Well, normally, I would state confidently (with just the right level of confidence...not too much as to sound cocky, and not so little as to seem as though I'm fishing for a compliment) that I'm very good at interviewing. I know how to exude the "hire me" air, and how to best show how I would be a great match for the job.

Not today.

I thought I was so awesome at first, being all witty and clever and confident (curses!), and then suddenly, I find myself babbling uncontrollably and sounding a bit like I spoke the Aboriginal language fluently (minus the clicks). I literally had to stop myself in the middle of a sentence and start over (with, I believe, the phrase, "What is going on?" Yes. I said it out loud...on the phone...to the woman interviewing me...who could possibly give me a job: "What is going on.") Then, where I normally pride myself in being able to say just the right thing, I somehow make it sound as if I'm not interested in the position at all and end up backpedaling furiously to make up for my verbal vomit, which really only made things worse.

Does anyone have an icepick...TO SHOVE IN MY EYE?

The thing that makes me so upset is that I thought I would be so amazing and neglected to put in the work I normally do to back up my confidence. I didn't do my homework (recently, at least...if only just to refresh my memory) and sounded like a total idiot. I got off the phone and wanted a smoke...and I don't smoke.

Oh well, learning experience, I suppose. A "character builder", if you will...

Although, as I've said before, "building character" is just a euphemism for "amassing life-long scars ."

Beer, anyone?