Monday, December 04, 2006

Actual conversation with my sister today:

Me: I need to know what you guys want for Christmas. I'm going shopping after work today.

Heather: Well, Todd needs gift cards. You know what I like. Kate wants boots. I don't know what Ben wants. I haven't asked him. (laughs)

Me: (laughs, too, because Ben is--as yet--unborn) Well, does he want clothes?

Heather: He doesn't really need clothes. The only thing we don't have that he actually needs is a bouncy seat.

Me: Oh, like one of those baby catapults? (refers to great flinging capacities of said seat)

Yeah! Exactly!

Me: Do you want one of those fancy shmancy vibrating ones? (grins)

Heather: Well, those get more expensive. I just need something that'll hold him.

Me: Isn't that what grocery bags are for?

Heather: (Horrified laughter) You are never babysitting my kids! Ever!

Me: (laughing hysterically now) But grocery bags have handles!! They're great! Very convenient.

(Weightily, and with great conviction) You're sick.

Actual conversation with Lisa, describing above incident:

Lisa: (Horrifed laughter) You are sick!

Me: "Paper or plastic?"

Lisa: (Practically) Well, they do have handles.

Me: I know!

Lisa: Easy to give them a bath in.

Me: Yeah! Just add water and shake!

Lisa: (Seriously) We're going to hell.

Me: (Plunging gamely ahead) And, you can store the baby and the bag under the sink!

Lisa: (To no one in particular) And she keeps going. This is awful.


Commodore said...

If the baby weighs more than 8 pounds, you should double bag 'em ... (I know from experience!)

Those bags also hang nicely on the coat hooks over the rear windows ... so no need for a lousy car seat!

Amy Russell said...

Actually, I have Heather's bouncy seat & will be happy to return prior to Ben's arrival.....especially after hearing all of these crazy people talk of plastic bags!!!!! So, you'll need a new gift idea, Sarah! :)

heather anderson (said sister!) said...

ROFL!!! Good point about double bagging, Commodore!!! But does that make me slightly sick too that I laughed so hard at that? But never... NEVER as sick as Sarah. The "shake-it-up bath" idea (while it does sound very convenient) just made me think about a possible restraining order!!

heather anderson said...

Btw... I didn't know I spoke "weightily" -- I feel so... special now! Should I think about going into acting? I think I should... oh, no wait -- *I* am a "slacker mom"!! Acting would really throw me off my career path.